Week of March 4, 2013: Written in the salty air

I'm back in Varna! How did this all happen, you ask? Well, I don't know. Last week found me in the mission office in Sofia frantically trying to do emails on an office computer while the awesome office couple, the Sedgebergs, quietly tapped along on their computers (we used to have office elders, who could talk to Bulgarian landlords/run errands/pay bills, but now this couple, who used to work in the Latvia mission, has stepped up and does it ALL. And they're converts. Pretty cool). And now I'm here in Varna, after we got here on Tuesday. Let me tell you some interesting things about being back in this area. It reminds me a lot, obviously, of being here exactly a year ago as a new missionary and feeling all these extremely intense, powerful feelings - homesickness, excitement, inadequacy, confusion, indigestion - that somehow are all written on the buildings and landmarks and the salty air and that I keep remembering. And what else. We're not allowed to go by the sea anymore, so that's kind of a bummer. But WHATEVER! The sea is in my heart! Etc.

Also this week: a district meeting that reminded me of my very first district meeting and how I got into an argument about breastfeeding at the district lunch immediately following it. Yeah. Even though the people I work with in the mission now probably wouldn't believe me, because I still am very argumentative, I used to be a LOT more argumentative than I am now. I used to be a lot different than I am now in a lot of ways, I guess. Like now my hair is longer, for instance. Just kidding, that's not what I mean. I mean that this lifestyle kind of (obviously) internally changes your thinking and your approach to problems. For example: the other day I was looking at some pictures of family/home, and I had this weird flash across my mind, looking at a picture of this one person: "Ooh, I wonder if they'd like to be taught the Gospel!" and then I shook myself out of this world and thought, WHAT? Since when do I wonder such things? Not that I don't believe in teaching the Gospel to everyone, but before I came here, my approach to thinking about missionaries and missionary work was kind of the same as my approach to like, firefighters: I don't know any, I don't see any, I'm sure they do great things, I hope they're okay, whatever. Kind of distant and vague, unfortunately. But now it's weird because my whole world is measured around looking for people who might be taught and baptized. I'm describing this badly, but I guess my point is I had no real connection to missionary work before my mission, which is unfortunate, but it's fascinating how it's completely changed my daily thoughts, but more importantly, my way of thinking.

This week, we were able to see some investigators I taught a year ago, and it was amazing to see them and think about their progress and how much I cared about them and thought about them, now deeply they impressed me, even though I understood about 2% of what they said. It's just funny how you don't necessarily plan to start caring about these people this much, and then it just happens and you can't control it. And the best experience was probably church, which really, really felt going home in a lot of ways: I saw all these people who had loved me and been kind to me and cared for me when I was new and scared, and it was very tender to see them all again. (I told one member, a very hip, though middle-aged lady, that my brother was in South Korea on a mission, and she immediately started singing and dancing that one Korean song that everyone is sick of from every pop station of every place in the world. Twas funny.)

Anyway. We have a lot of work to do. A lot of finding and building up new investigators and a lot of tracting and street contacting. You know, normal life. But I'm excited. I'm trying not to think about going home, but see myself as a new missionary still, one who doesn't have to be jaded and tired and number-oriented (which I have to admit, I sometimes have a tendency to become, as an older missionary). But someone who, like last year, is just excited and feels lucky and overwhelmed to be given this job.

I read this week some good things. What were they? The Book of Mormon, especially things about faith and repentance. But also that talk by President Eyeball (I mean Eyring) about the pavilion. Go read it.

I love you guys. Pictures to come shortly. Understanding of cameras to come longly. (Hahaha, kind of forced but at least I tried to make that joke.)

Love,

Crister Scrable